Purple Rouge

Dusks

2011-10-21T15:00:00.001-07:00

The mighty yellow

Melting in scarlet fog

Tad purple and grey

Losing subsistence

Life beyond life

Metamorphosing

Evolution?

Figment of imagination?

The question of belief remains

A Winter Lullaby

2009-07-02T23:04:00.000-07:00

The green water drops,
Lying placid,
On the suede petals,
Of a white, water lily.

The night sings a lullaby,
And the droplets recede;

Towards the kernel,
To rest in peace.
And sleep mutely,
Amongst the anthers;

Waiting to disperse,
To lose its being;

To move on,
In an eternal slumber,
And dwell endlessly,
In the Lily’s heart;

It’s almost,
The last quarter,
Of the cold and windy,
December night!

It sings a lullaby again,
Melancholic like the lost love;

This time for the white lily;
Fighting with the arctic wind,
Till the last,
Frozen breath sways;

Eventually, to slip inside;
The unfathomable womb,
Of the dead frozen lake;
And close the doors of petals;

For the next morning’s,
Virgin dew drops!

To make love eternally,
With those green water drops,
Curled inside its satin petals,
Inside the misty lake;

For all the endless nights,
Winter brings on its wings.

The post is inspired by the picture above, specially the flowy petals and the mystic beauty residing in the frame.

"Beauty"

2009-06-26T05:32:00.000-07:00

Once someone asked me, “What’s the most beautiful thing that you have done in your life?”, and I really could not think of an answer to that simple question. Today when I trace back to the same question, which not only asks about the idea of beauty for an individual but also the meaning of a very abstract noun called “beauty”, I realize how naïve are we when we actually try getting into the realms of beauty, whether it be mental, physical or beyond both and try to quantify the limitless.

Isn’t beauty as boundless as the thoughts coming to a free mind with no strands of inhibitions we generally carry about people? I remember reading Arundhati Roy, “The God of Small Things” where “Ammu” makes forbidden love with “Velutha”. An upper caste divorcee, “Ammu” and the untouchable, “Velutha”, meet in the obscurity of the dark in the verity of their love, to denounce the inhibitions of an esteemed society which just devours on the idiosyncrasy of two people with no other crime committed than being in “Love”.

For me, they are just two people in love, not bound by anything else than the same.
This is beauty for me!

And the most beautiful thing I have ever done in my life, is being in arms of the person, I had a lot of inhibitions about, which I finally let go off, to come to a state of mystic beauty, where I felt being like the wind touching and caressing the lone beechnut tree aimlessly and shamelessly!

For the Lost "Love"

2009-06-15T23:24:00.001-07:00

Most times in our life, we do not understand what love is? And what it entails. The biggest problem happens in the part where we are easily alluded into thinking that we love ourselves, we preach the concept of being the best and thinking so; while lacking awareness as to what do we love about us, why do we love, how do we love and we leave those questions aside and thus our reasons for the same. Then we start being with people, and issues and conditions start applying, this should be thus and that should be thus. The problem happens since we do not love ourselves, we also do not find any reason to love someone else or things around us. The mind wants to change everything, and while what change is required is unknown except for as long as it is the way we want. Someday we start loving ourselves, fully and completely and a lot of things start looking beautiful. Things we could not imagine before start happening and while we do not understand what is happening, the right or wrong but we know one thing, this is me who is doing it and I am loving it.

I started loving the person inside me a long ago, the me who was beautiful, amazing, special, sometimes beyond the comprehension of most, and capable of loving someone in a manner where nothing stayed important except the idea of love.

However, today I stand broken at the threshold of that love for which I gave myself, I loved myself.

For “destiny” is cruel!

Surreal

2009-05-19T00:04:00.000-07:00

Fall has marked its advent!

Hopefully,

The hummingbirds have,

Preened the feathers.

And are set to soar,

High, up in the sky.

A flight of freedom!

A perch of delight!

All emblematic of,

The weaponry.

Beauty and Exemption,

Vigor and energy!

Or, a depletion less trajectory!

Take me along,

Not to the winter-blooming gardens!

Rather, further down, further away,

Crossing the Nevada, take me,

Up till the strange pathway!

Straight down the winding,

Valley of Mexico.

Into the long lost kingdom,

Of Aztecs!

I will be reborn!

As a warrior, of the sun-god!

My wings in gold and crimson

Bringing back the civilization.

I will forge ahead.

On the bosom,

Of this new land!

Rising from the ruins,

Of everything lost and forgotten.

Of everything beautiful once

I will be born-again!

In the summers of Nevada,

To the glory of hummingbirds!

Like a hummingbird!

Venom

2009-05-18T23:21:00.000-07:00

It lies still and placid,
Between the folds of thy heart!
Like a foetus, sleeping secure
In a mother's womb.

The way the sky nests,
The winds in its palms.
It dwells in the realms,
Of those grainy eyes.

Like the water, getting dyed,
In the hue of the unknown.
It metamorphoses, itself
In thy name and form.

How strange it is!
Pain!
With no particular name,
Only !pain begets pain!

Purple Rouge

2009-03-26T10:36:00.000-07:00

Purple!

What’s so beautiful?

In this!

Neither mine,

Nor the color,

Of anything,

I ever had!

Neither mesmerizing,

Nor the color,

Of anything,

That I have dreamt of!

Bold!

Jarring!

Crude!

A color!

With no melody,

In it’s hitherto,

Pigments!

Still so close to me,

It is the color

Of the onlySparkle!

I had touched once.

A sparkle in My eyes,

Seen as a double

In yours!

I still,

Remember!

It’s your favorite,

For no rhyme and reason.

And I willingly,

Carry this color.

In my eyes,

Even when you are gone.

The beaded neck-piece,

The messy stilettos,

The flashy loops,

The kitschy nail-paint!

The miss you card,

The pretentious smile,

The flashy tears,

The shattered me!

All losing themselves,

In the deluge,

Of something,

Never mine!

Always your’s,

Huh! Only your’s,

The color,Purple!

Tell me!

2009-03-02T20:17:00.000-08:00

A non sense scribble

On a thrown

Piece of paper

I am!

A directionless

Rivulet, cut off

From the river

I am!

A melancholic song

Sung by

A demented oscine

I am!

A wind chime

With no music

And no motion

I am!

A dictionary

Whose words

Render no meaning

I am!

But what are you?

Raw

2009-02-27T19:25:00.000-08:00

Details!

Spun in all the objects,

Describing life,

Connecting life.

Details!

So unimportant,

Adding just another,

“Thing” again;

Details!

So pretentious,

Luring, ah! alluring,

Incubating under brassy wraps;

Details!

They call finesse,

Adding silhouette,

To this vaporizing form;

Details!

Trying to catch,

Beauty in manual forms,

Mere tawdry!

Details!

I want no more,

Give me something,

Not elaborate;

Give me something,

Simple!

Uncivilized!

Bare!

Beautiful!

Give it!

Raw!

Time-Travel

2009-02-25T23:27:00.000-08:00

Wish!
I could have a life,
In which I could
Do almost nothing.
And sit silently,
On an armchair.
Swing in sync with my,
Swinging thoughts.
So many, shimmering
Like the glossy leaves.
And let the mind,
Travel at its pace.
Frolicking with the sunlight,
Touching the rays.
And close the eyes,
To find myself,
Floating in the dark of time.

Wish!
I could travel,
All along the,
Invisible stairs.
Passing time,
Has left behind.

Into,
The blue space!
Dark sky!
Water frames!
My mind’s realms!

Alchemy

2009-02-21T02:24:00.000-08:00

Walk in,

Through those water frames,

Drawing the curtains of glitters.

Drops, like pearls attached to a string;

Turn them into gold,

This time,

I will collect each drop,

And fill them,

In my eyes;

Drops of gold!

Flowing like tears.

I know,

You know,

Alchemy !

Wishfully ephemeral

2009-02-20T08:47:00.000-08:00

The wait is ephemeral, so they say. There is nothing that is permanent and so shall be the yearning that haunts you this moment, like the sky-clad clouds waiting for the threshold to abandon their prowess. The moment is stealth, like the best of the arts that is unrevealed until the real magic is lost. The world of an untamed hypocrisy enervating you lest you succumb to its disease of sanity. You have been there and seen it all but it still beats the logic of a lost humanity, of the honesty that was once a part of being humane. I yearn for the lost days, and I know that this wait is “wishfully” ephemeral.”

Insanity

2009-02-19T23:53:00.001-08:00

Transgressing the palisades of time,
I realized its dimensionless.
And thus, I became free
To promote,
The prowess of insanity.
Insanity as dimensionless as time,
Insanity not feigning to be benign!

Beauty

2009-02-17T23:00:00.000-08:00

What can be more beautiful?
Than watching the dim lit sky
Filled with many twinkling stars
As if creating a symphony
On a silent and dark night!

Can it be swinging on the hills?
With see-saw like uneven peaks
On even earth, like many hands
Stretched together, towards the sky
Calling for rain!

Can it be watching the alibi?
Ah! The ephemeral alibi
Of love making, so divine
Many drops strewn on the grass blade
Bringing soil and clouds together!

Can it be sinking in the thoughts?
Sitting in sun, on a winter aft
And recollecting the childhood memories
Still afresh in the graying mind
Shimmering like the spring foliage!

Can it be sitting alone on a blue night?
When the full-moon sleeps
In the womb of the silent sky
And I watch it breaking into so many crescents
Throwing pebbles in the dead lake!

It can be all! It can be everything!
Beauty is so dimensionless
Pouring from the shapeless clouds
Filling the water cups of all moulds
The pit!
The ditch!
The river!
The sea!
The ocean!
The eyes!

The Snowman

2009-02-11T22:28:00.000-08:00

The dusk descends
And the snowfall begins
All night; through the night
Non-stop

Another dusk:
It is cold; very cold
And the snow
Is still falling

I can hear the moan
Of the wind, preparing
To snow all through
To snow all time

The cold is unbearable
But still the he stands
All alone, under the dim lit
And the frozen sky

A shrill cry
A tearful sigh
My eyes crack
To see him alone

Made of fleece with
Charcoal eyes
Embedded Deep inside
The unfathomable
Snow!

He wishes no more
He grants no more
Nor a drop rolls down
His cheeks; Ah! No more

I don’t think he laments
Over the cold
Or rather he is content
Disowning all desires

Of being in a cozy
Closed room; with fireplace
And enough warmth
To force him

To repudiate himself
Until he melts
And loses the self
Inside the prevaricating room

To be in the warmth that robs him
Of self and being
Turns him to a mere human
As tears of virgin rain trickle; He will melt

Made of frozen water
He wishes not to flip
The state; and to endure
The flogging cold .

What a wish less substance
What a content state of being
Such authority; such warmth
And no, yes no fear !

Every night you beckon,

Me to be free like you!

Of all the qualms,

That dwell inside.

Of the open and the cold!

Of the night and the wind !
Of the moans and the groans!
Of life and death!

The lane

2009-02-10T21:14:00.000-08:00

Many a times
I have traveled
In the lone lanes
Of the blue night

The blue night
That brings with itself
The moist moonshine
And the thick frigid air

When the damp light
Heavy with the burden
Of my tear drops
Flows down

Down
From the crevices
Of the thick air
Air, Smelling like mosses

To find a way
That would reach you
Today, Tomorrow or
Don’t know after how many lives

Each nightI am a traveller
Lost in the wanderlust
Of the dark lanes
For me

Each night
Is wrapped in
The silk strands
The silvery strands

Of the blue story
I wait!
But the moon
Doesn’t even phase out.

Nor does it find
The way for me
Up to you;
See! How far I have come!

The Parole

2009-02-09T23:43:00.000-08:00

Wish! We could live forever,
Stealing kisses on a gondola;
Hiding away from the looker-on,
Ah! Who else than the crimson sun;
Under the rosewood ‘felze’,
While crossing the bridge of sighs;

Wish! You would buy me flowers,
Those lilies and roses, everyday!
And we would spend the night,
Dancing slowly on an unknown tune;
My flowing colored tresses shadowing,
The smiling crescent moon!

Wish! We would walk down,
The cobble-stoned lanes of Athens;
Hand in hand, growing old together,
And take a ferry down to the island;
Listening to the sound of rippling water,
Feeding the white-washed swans, all way;

Wish! I could always play around,
The dimples on your cheeks;
Touch the otherwise nimble lids,
When you are fast asleep;
And glance through those clear eyes,
Around-the-clock, million times;

Wish! All days are calamine,
And all nights painted wild-blue;
All morns be spent kissing you,
And Evenings on golden shores;
Earthen afts be filled with smiles,
And our eyes with dreams galore;

Wish! I could not even wish a thing,
And lay asleep, away from the zing;

And in that slumber, I make not a wish
Rather a promise to your eyes
The promise of pearl and the oyster
My beauty! All yours
Your love! All mine
Together we reside in the love, divine!

The rhythm dissolves

2009-02-08T22:02:00.000-08:00

He walked with her all around the moor
Where they had their first date
He showed her the same yellow lilies
Marking an advent of the spring

Leaning on the cedar fence
She told him stories redolent of her innocence
They sat together under the blue umbrella
Talking just about anything under the blonde sun

As the wind whispered in the grass
She murmured a long list of wishes
Some small, some larger than life
He laughed at a few and stood struck at others

She wanted him to take her to the Pacific
All the way only by train
And all through the way tell her a story
Spun in the pusuit of love and life

A story with the two fishes
She had bought several moons ago
One with the golden fins in her name
And the other spotless white in his

To build her a castle in clear white clouds
With doors of candy- sticks
All the bed-linen in his favorite blue
And jelly suace filling the window panes

A garden filled with rainbows in the morn
And countless fire-flies at the night
And a lake in the backyard with floating chairs
To sit and talk till eternity

She asked for a bottle full of golden rays
To make her a pair of Cinderella shoes
And a pint of beer made from white sky
To celebrate the smiling half moon

After a zillion wishes she stopped
Looked around for a minute
Stood impervious for another in the oblivion
Looked at him with tear filled eyes and smiled again

He stood there stupefied at the stance
Feeling as if the life has slipped silently
Crawled away some minutes ago
As it always has done since ages

The smiles were to last for some more months
And the cold breaths for soem more to come
How could he explain her in one lifetime
He had fallen in love with her each day

She smiled, she laughed and she wished,
But he could only look at her, dazed
Mesmerized by the beauty of the heart
Destined to go still after a few more moons

After which,
The world would never be like before
And he would have to walk
With her momories, only!

Alfresco

2009-02-02T01:09:00.000-08:00

I take a step

Forward!

Randomness unfurls

The soil beneath erodes

And the crust collapses

Some thoughts lay strewn

In the path, clasped

In the metamorphosis

Of sweat into tears

And vice versa

Some dreams

Fading out with

The bleached sky

Some shrill silences

Filling the cracks

The cracks commencing

From the place

I call home.

The doors were closed

Years ago

The curtains drawn

To let not enter

Even a drop of moan

Ah! I stopped moaning

Long ago

The place

Is now like a painting

On old canvas

In oil and pastel

Earthy!Earthy brown

In the base coat

Rendered with strokes

Brushes!

Of all thickness used

And the window

From where

I used to peep outside

To greet the morn

Has turned into

A silent, frozen lake

Some voices sleep inside

Some giggles have been stoned

Some books still lie

Tilted on the bookshelf

And the chimney persistently

Spews the aroma

Of belongingness

The still painting

The dead lake

The mute chimney

The sleeping memories

All framed together

Alfresco!

I take a step

Again!

Mirror

2009-01-22T00:25:00.000-08:00

Of late, I have started using
My small mirror again and again
As they say, the reflection is real
Is that real me?

Is that why I see myself so often?
Is that because I want to confirm
Its me, its me and its me.
Reconfirmation again, is it me?

But sad, I can see something
Not really mine, not really carried
By me, emerging…..
The shoots covering my face

The aberrations; evolving with time
Growing, expanding, inflating and
Sinking deeper into the skin
Writing stories of inflictions

Etching the deeper scars
Oh! No more I want to see
The distortions, the blemishes
They must be hypothetical

Or am I hallucinating
Reality is better as a mirage
How can I forget, the first aberration
Etched deeply…..

When I killed, the innocent me
When I stabbed, the beautiful me
When I wept to fake
When I slept to wake

And this is entropy,
It doesn’t take me back
Time, has only given me a mirror
When it is happy it reflects me

And when it is sorry
It still shows the real me
However, this one is ugly
Aberrated
Distorted
Wretched
Rusted!!!

Kitsch

2008-12-24T02:58:00.000-08:00

A soft hum

"Grey" in hue

If painted

"Grey" in tint

Forever

A brisk flutter

As if I walk in a hurry

To catch the train;

Train to life

On a journey; Neverending

An unconscious smudge;

I can see, the brittle edges

They slash my forefingers

All the time; Every time

I try coming to the verge

An empty time-piece

With no one to turn it

Around; Upside down

And let the time

Traverse again

I transcend; I pretend

I try to be mute; I gaze

As he walks obscurely

In a jiffy

Past me

Who?

The jarring me

The glistening me

The other me

The mere me

The kitschy

Me!

Lets Talk

2008-12-18T02:45:00.000-08:00

Lets talk
Not in words; Nor in gestures
But through the thin air
Which flows from me
And reaches upto You!

Lets talk
Not in words; Nor in gestures
But through the subdued hues
Which color my cheeks
When I come near You!

Lets talk
Not in words; Nor in gestures
But through the silence
Which pours like mercury drops
Silently from my eyes!

Lets talk
Not in words; Nor in gestures
But through the nascent smiles
Which stretch endlessly
Like the azure sky!

Lets embrace the silence
Lets hear no whisper
Let me be you; Let you be me
As if there was no me; no you
Let silence persist!

I snip

2008-12-09T23:27:00.000-08:00

A pair of dead scissors
Kept on the dressing table,
Made in steel
With melamine clasps;
I pick them up
To bring near
The soft curls;
They breathe
They move with my neck
Down until they touch
My back arch;
The blades pass through
The cascades
Breaking the strands
A part gazes
And lives
And the other turns
Into a lifeless
Bunch of black fleece

What all I do
To seem Beautiful!
Fake
Pretend
And
To the most
I snip

Beauty!

Magic Seeds

2008-11-28T08:31:00.000-08:00

Words

Reflecting self...

Hope!

Defying Life...

Dreams!

Living in perfection...

Lost them...

The magic seeds!

Winter

2008-11-28T07:33:00.000-08:00

Perhaps!
I couldn’t see
The poppy seeds
Strewn wildly
On the marble floor

Perhaps!
I couldn’t see
The sepia granules
Flowing in the veins
Of the old fig tree

Perhaps!
I couldn’t see
The grey wavelets
Turfing the pond
In my backyard

Or accidentally
The world changed”
As the winter came

Tears Of Dawn

2008-11-25T23:23:00.000-08:00

Today while going away
The night strew limpid beads
To adorn the dayspring

Many starlets came down
Dripping lazily
From the roof of zephyr

One with many others
Lied gently on the grass bed
Denying, to wake up

Dissembled
On a blade each
They sparkled like beryl

One with many others
Fell on the kernel
Of the blonde sunflower

Hiding behind the grey pollen
They tinseled periodically
As the sun rays frolicked

And the rest clung
To the shoots of the old
Resplendent lavender tree

Whispering the love song
Through the pores
The tinsels breathe their last

Before they all will disappear
And be remembered
Only as “the Tears of Dawn”

Sauce Pan

2008-11-20T21:47:00.000-08:00

As the dusk lulled
The turbulent sauce pan;
A hiss form the kitchen
Gushed mutely through
The thin air

Waxed slender legs walk
Unto the terminus;
To toss the contents
Of the blue pan;
This time its egg yolk

The coffee mingles
With the current around;
Still smelling of eggs
Made yesterday
Evening

Silence descends through
The mute azure eyes;
And rests beside
The pelvic arch;
On an archaic sofa

Like many others
This evening is no special;
Not bringing any thoughts
To the mind, resting in
Abstruse coma

One such evening
Punctuated this life;
The life which now
Tosses only memories;
In the sauce pan

"Fireflies" & "Wishes"

2008-09-08T01:27:00.000-07:00

With heat waves, come the nimbus clouds
And with the clouds,
Comes the pitter-patter of the rain
Etching million smiles on the sand

And the rain brings the fireflies
Strolling incessantly in a wanderlust
Perched on the flowing droplets
To be lost before they meet the crust

In the darkest fleck of time
A speck of light is beautiful
But, when there are myriad blinking bulbs
Around, isn’t it sheer brilliance?

Yes! They say it right
In the wee hours of the night
Some one does black-magic;
I can see the sparks from the cauldrons tonight

As I step out in the impounding deep
The chimera unfurls the wonderland
As if the entire “milky-way”
Has today descended on the sand

Wishes are also like fireflies
Too many swarming in the milky way of heart
Casting a spell at the sheer glimpse of one
And carrying the mind away in a go-cart

Do I remember the first one made?
The “lollypop”
The “Barbie doll”
The almost finished “lipstick” of mom

Or did I forget to feel the magic
When they came alive;
And capture the glory
Of that possession

No, they were not washed away
Nor did they sway
Only that some more wishes
Came in their way

Wishes to own big
Wishes to be big
Wishes to live big
Wishes… all so big!

Is the beauty of the flick?
In the immensity;
When I see them all
In thousands together

The fireflies, the wishes…
Nescient of the truth
In the flock, many ceased
Because they couldn’t respire

And I stood
Looking askance
Only at the sheer brilliance
Of the myriad

Losing thousands…
Mightier, more beautiful, dearer
Thinking so many
Were there….

Watching the spell
I lost the magic wand…

Selling Souls

2008-09-05T02:41:00.000-07:00

They know
They are selling it
And they have a reason
Also.

We fool ourselves
We also sell souls
But without a reason
Thinking we never did

We are the superior ones
Looked up in the society
Chaste in our own terms
But naked in our reality

Naked! When we stand
In front of ourselves
Eyes piercing
In the skeletal foam

Then we understand
We also bartered;

Bartered the soul for glitz
Body for recognition
Faith for fulfillment
Thoughts for divinity
Kisses for vehemence
Touch for possession
Tears for ephemeral joy
And…

Kilos of sand for a pinch of sky

Only to understand
The ones in brothels knew
They sold bodies, not souls
What we did
All our life?

Intellectual Decay

2008-09-04T22:52:00.000-07:00

Now beckons the maiden elf
Waving her bellowing skirt;
The skirt studded with
Glitters and twinkles;
And a zillion specks of light

Slowly waving her moonlit scarf
In sparkling velvet blue;
Thousand fire flies waken
To weave a veil of dew;

Perpetually the mist descends
And snow flakes tinsel
The fir trees; now lies the earth
All mystery to the clouds
Covered in own reality;

Naked and numb sleeps the sun
With no one to behold the satire;
Nature makes with a canny
And a raucous and tearing cry
Fills the woods with irony

Now droops the white peacock
A far-off peacock
All its adorned foliage;
And stands bare
Like a ghost it glimmers

Now the dried leaves
Assemble on either side
Of the pathway; drenching themselves
In snow crystals
Like two shining furrows

Now folds the white lily
All her sweetness up;
And slips into the bosom
Of the half-dried lake;
A far-off lake

Yes, the night comes
To speak of everything
Lost….Gained…
Cherished…Mourned…
Acclaimed

To fold thyself, the dearest
And slip into my bosom
Be lost in me;
Thou…lost
Man
Bird
Forest
World

Let me suffer at night
In my own intellectual decay

Maped Eraser

2008-09-04T22:40:00.000-07:00

Some lines scribbled;
On the not so white
Paper…

In graphite, molded within
A hollow cast of red and black
Pencil…

Dissatisfaction creeps;
The words don’t mean
Much…

A bright “maped” eraser;
Kept beside the paper
Erases…

All vacuous words;
Not meant to be
Written…

From now on;
I will write my life with
Graphite…

And will also keep;
An eraser
Beside…
To efface those names;
Not meant to be
There…

How can I?
Life leaves deeper wounds than
Graphite…

And the marks can’t be wiped;
Even with the eraser of
Tears…

Lover

2008-09-04T03:40:00.001-07:00

Let the lover be disgraceful, crazy,absentminded.

Someone soberwill worry about things going badly.

Let the lover be....

rumi

Magic

2008-09-04T03:27:00.000-07:00

There is some magic spun in your eyelids
Whenever you close them;
I rest in peace inside
And when you open them;
I fly away like moths
What glory do I attach?
To them
They call me
When the happiness knocks
And even when the pain pierces
You don’t know
But they give me breaths
Some stolen from your own
Without telling you
And a bit of your life
Without asking from you
To render me a soul
To push me down
And I roll
Roll down
Those cheeks
Till eternity
“Tears”
Of joy
Of sorrow

Indistinguishable

Grey Reminiscences

2008-09-04T02:03:00.000-07:00

Grey…
An alibi of you love
That you leave
On my silken sheets

Every night

The creases and folds
And the blushing deeds
They behold!
Speak to me
As you leave
For work

The way the “grey”
Spoke to you
When my eyelids
Couldn’t cover the distance
And look up into your eyes
Your eyes,
Filled with mirth
And desire to own

And how did the “grey”
Shadow of my curls
Vanish away
When you slid behind
Them; kissing all the way
Nipping every inch
Of the soul
You could

And the way
The bright haven
Turned “grey”
When you blew away
The candles
On display
And in the “grey”
The silence spoke
Of the love, you meant

The way your bare eyes
Smirked at my helplessness
And your cold hands
Tasted the sweat drops
Strewn all over
On my “grey”
Silhouette; you uncovered
In the perfect course

The way your lips
Left their “grey” marks
At all the places
Forbidden;
And the “grey” tears
Rolled down my eyes
Till the bliss driven
Eternity

Grey…
The only alibi
Of your love

2008-09-03T21:44:00.000-07:00

Ankhon me jal raha hai bujhta nahee dhuan

Uthataa to hai ghata-sa, barasta nahee dhuan..

Palkon ko dhapne se bi rukta nahee dhuan

Kitni u.ndeli ankhen bujhta nahee dhuan..

Ankhon se ansuon ke marasim purane hain

Mehamaan ye ghar me aaye to chubhta nahee dhuan..

Chulhe nahee jalaye ya basti hee jal gayee

Kuch roz ho gaye hain ab uthta nahee dhuan..

Chingari ek atak si gayee mere seene

Thoda sa aa ke phoonk do udataa nahee dhuan....

....Gulzaar

Prodigious Me....

2008-09-01T21:54:00.000-07:00

Haunting, ethereal, pensive and disturbing describe me.... a soul living permanently in a state of rapture,

People passing by.... Conversations.... and pretensions dont allure me for an affair.... and in turn recieve a moronic smile back....

All these ships in the world arn't actually meant for me... or my sardonic life....a sadist to the core... deriving pleasure from pain.... Happiness bellows, slanders... is a state of generic pretence 4 me... taking one away from oneself, into a stranger and colder world of pleasures...

For me life happened by chance... I dont think i was supposed to come... but i did, as i could stand on the debris of morality and immorality, because for me they make no sense....
No one makes sense....

To be, or not to be: that is the question:
Whether 'tis nobler in the mind to suffer
The slings and arrows of outrageous fortune,
Or to take arms against a sea of troubles,
And by opposing end them? To die: to sleep;

I am a person who only understands life lyrically, musically in words...., in whom feelings are much stronger as reason. I am so thirsty for the marvelous that only the marvelous has power over me. Anything I can not transform into something marvelous, I let go. Reality doesn't impress me. I only believe in intoxication, in ecstasy, and when ordinary life shackles me, I escape, one way or another. No more walls....

I do not seek the because- because in love, there is no because, no reason, no explanation, no solutions..... and thats y i love myself.... and my world.... the unreal dreamy stuff which i carry on my eyelids.... is all i posess....that's my haven... in life...

Winter Fallacies

2008-09-01T21:26:00.000-07:00

Signs of winter have started appearing
On the dry leaves, shed during the fall

The sun wakes up late these days
Reminding me of the times
When winter used to bring
Cheers and pullovers
And a series of bonfires

An era of ever blooming Dahlias
And meadows of poppy buds
The hyacinth bulbs
The tulip bunches
And with them a tinge
Of hope

When the golden glow
Of the sun glistened
Every face around
When the frosty mighty
Passerby, fathomed
The depths, profound

The sun now wakes up very late
Sometimes, it doesn’t even
The traces of the assault
Fall left, can still be seen
The tulips don’t grow now
To cover the carcass

From now no winter
Will be able
To redo the city
Weathered and ruined
By the hands
Of the fall

No,
By the hands
Of man
As the riot ridden
Amnesia strikes

Ephemeral

2008-08-13T21:13:00.001-07:00

Sitting on the seashore
I can see the tranquil deep
Seeming so silent and calm to the eye
But carrying a whirlwind inside

Sitting on the seashore
I can see the waves
Coming towards me to gulp me
But they recede only, kissing my feet

Sitting on the seashore
I tried encaging the surf
To make it mine forever
But it only left evanescent white froth

Why is your world like the sea?
It seems so silent to the world
Why do you keep inside?
The whole stream of emotions

Why are you like the waves?
I try catching you every time
I try making you mine
And you evaporate…you vanish

Why is your love like the froth?
Shaped like a crystal
So transparent…so beautiful … so clear
But so ephemeral

The Fundamentals

2008-08-13T21:11:00.000-07:00

I know this fact that
There were fundamental reasons
For us not being together
For the distances that sprung

Things went sour and
I couldn't protect the tenderness
My strength swayed and I couldn't
Hold together all the petals of our love

And this is why today
I have so many reasons to cry
And at the next moment
Laugh at the doom of my tears

Pity them….
Which masquerade in the blue shade
Trying to live for a moment but
So transient, they dry on their own

Look at my plight…
Life didn't even give me a chance
To taste the teardrops of my sorrow only
Which dry before touching my lips

I wonder o how…
How can love be such an enigma?
The more I try getting it….
The more effervescent the tears become

There will come a time
When they will dry in the eyes only
Those stone eyes, which only will bear the sorrow
Of the fundamentals, which you say went wrong.

Killing a Soul

2008-08-13T21:10:00.001-07:00

Deep inside me it lies Curled up with
The Arcs of my body, sleeping in solace
With me it ate, with me it drank
With me it smiled, with me it lived
As a beautiful part of my chaste body
Unaware of the blasé scars
Filling up all the pores in the world
Undaunted it napped in the dicotyledon
Enveloped in the gentle caress
Of the body which could not carry it gracefully
The body grimacing in the pain
Of a sin, committed so divinely
And today I stand to refrain
From carrying this naivety inside me
To abscond from something so pure
To let it decease in front of my own eyes
Eyes which would have loved to see
It walk upright and talk in its angelic tone
To wipe out the most beautiful word
From its mouth rendered to be mum forever
Not even hear the silent cry and see
Those amber tears which could never flow
Today I decide to bury it in myself
So that the world would never know
I was not ready to endure the pain
Of giving a birth again to my chaste soul
I was to be a mother
I was to be a woman…

Vulnerability

2008-08-13T21:07:00.000-07:00

How can vulnerability
Be so beautiful at times
When you chose to be vulnerable
When you knew, it was beyond
The comprehension of
The good and the bad

Impacts of the circumstances
That made you shiver from inside
When you realized
Being vulnerable does not mean
Being weak and abandoned
It was a satire on sanity

You programmed your mind
To become deliberately permeable
To things you actually loved
Did let it enter your domain
Of thoughts and feelings
Still holding the rein

To the tears and smiles
Those were to follow
Out of the uncertain,
Unknown obscurity
Of something called
Love and belief

And later on stopped
Registering the stimuli
Of happiness and sorrow
Of known and unknown
Of chastity and sin
And was oblivious

As you know now that
The smiles today are to feign
You tomorrow and the tears
Today are to drown you
Nothing would uplift except
Being numb

And this vulnerability takes you
To a level, where
Your monotone and soliloquy
Rhyme and resonate
You know the most neglected
Yourself….

Unknown Call....

2008-08-13T21:02:00.001-07:00

Doors wide open…
Lie facing in all
The four dimensions
Known yet unknown

And I stand as a stranger
To all those four worlds
Filled with mist
And profound iniquity

Overwhelmed
With happiness of
The unknown
And forthcoming

Wrapped
In the deluge
Of delusion
And obscurity

Looking
Pertinently at the threshold
Where life has brought me
Once again without insinuation

Asking of all the
Outlays and
The amplifications
I have atrophied

What do I say?
Lying in situ with
The Instinctive hues of grey
And the tainted soul

Which doesn’t belong
To this silhouette now
How do I respond?
To the call

I am getting
From the other side
Of the azure purview
So intense and deafening

How do I believe?
Someone is still there
Waiting for me
Living for me

Only…

Under My Pillow

2008-08-13T21:00:00.001-07:00

The memories which I used to
Keep under my pillow every night
Knocked on the window
With the moon that day

The tamarind leaves murmured
And my eyes closed
With the thought that
You are around again

The streetlights under the cascades
Of different shades of green
Lit my face again
When you sat at a distance

Some petals broke from the stalk
To spread the strands of moonshine
Of smiles and tears to follow
When I saw you again

A walk under the million stars
And a low tune
You couldn’t play on the guitar
Yet I could listen

As you came closer to me
I thought you have come
With a handful of dreams brimming
With all my desires

The resplendent beauty
Of those candid eyes
Which could not even look up
And fill me in them, yet they did

I could feel, the stars
Had not slept since ages
But they wanted to sleep in my arms
That day, and you escaped

Yet I could not escape
Weeping o your shoulders
When you said,
“Nothing matches your sepia eyes”

And today when I opened them
I saw this morn come alone
With empty hands
Yet they shone with tears

Filled with the memories
You have left back
Which I will keep
Under my pillow, tonight!!!

Stoned

2008-08-13T20:56:00.000-07:00

Watching askance from the veil
Of the cold heart
With thick and moist eyelashes
Coated with layers of mascara
And the scarlet shimmer

Dissolving the feigning presence
Of all the other wishes
Along With
The alluding and shabby makeup
It has carried since ages

Still waiting to see
The silver ripples
On the bosom of
The silent river
And talk to them

Until the stilness descends
and the dogs start barking
Ominously to keep away
The shadows of those
Bizzare memories, following me

And am still waiting
For those pages to come
In folds of which
I have kept me intact
Still waiting

The Chiffon Lampshade

2008-08-13T20:55:00.000-07:00

There used to be a lampshade
Of rosewood stem and yellow chiffon
Placed perfectly in our room
Since the eon

On your favourite
Cedar wood table
With plaids of red grains
painted by our dreams

And I remember
How shameless you were
to make me bare
In front of the staring lampshade

You kissed and it saw
I blushed and it smiled
And turned me gold
in it's yellow glow that night

When we vowed to be together
For all our lives
It blessed that night
With its satin smile

Time flew
And with it, your love too
But it remained still, smiling
And glowing for all the nights

When you didn't bother
To come back home
Or even call to say
"Cover yourself in the yellow foam"

And sleep dear
As I am not going
To come back
Ever.....

And i didnt know
I was to spend such million nights
Waiting for you to come
Playing with the anchor switch

Switch to the lamp, under the shade
Which lit for a second
And became blind
The another....

Not wishing at all
To pour the yellow droplets
And wrap me
In its strands of gold

The lampshade still stands
Upright with pride
Though tattered, with a
Dim yellow light

It has forgotten...
You and hates me now
As much as i love
Its yellow sheer chiffon

'Coz it was my first wedding gift

Hollow-Faces

2008-08-13T20:53:00.001-07:00

am tired of
The hollow faces
All around me
Painted with egg-yolk

Feigning a golden presence
The tawdry is self-defying
In pits and bulges
To display the state of being

I have tried a lot
Since many months
To stop the walls
Gestating those faces

From crashing in
Direct into my soul
Ripping the true me apart
Turning me them, gold....

Dried Leaves

2008-08-13T20:50:00.001-07:00

Some dried leaves
Ceding themselves
Completely, to the
Ground

Once with the tree
They used to cover
The bare skeleton
and in return, live

With the passing wind
And the flowing time
The bondage grew
Old and weaker

And one day the tree
Decided to give back
The old leaves to the
Ground

The leaves collapsed
The very moment
Moisture diffused
Life refused

They twisted in pain
A gift of the one
They adorned, bejeweled
A pain from someone close

The pain sucked away
The bright scarlet tint
And left the leaves
Gaunt, bare and dry

With a heavy heart
They decided to go
Breaking all the strands
Of love and belong

The love which Fall
Also couldnt defy
When the leaves refused
To leave the tree

Could only change their color
Scarlet from the deep green
Bearing which, the leaves
Became more beautiful in love

But time, they couldnt defy
When the tree only
Neglected their Being
For some new leafling

And I saw, some dried
"Maple" leaves ceding
Themselves, completely
To the ground

The faded scarlet
"Maple" leaves
Smitten by the human hands
Of so called "Relationships"

Lost

2008-08-13T20:48:00.002-07:00

Words lying deep
Inside the creases
And folds of the heart

Waiting to be
Unfurled, unwrapped
And to be presented
Like fresh dew drops
To the green moss

As a promise of love
By the dawn

Alas! they are forgotten
In the swirl of thoughts
Dissolved
With the fluid emotions
Vaporised
Diffused
Lost

And I stand
Mute......
Again
.
.
.

Memories

2008-08-13T20:48:00.001-07:00

Some cotton balls
Heavy with tears

Many old pictures
Fallen apart

A lifeless corsage
With dried leaves
And dead flowers

Those gaunt fir leaves
Collected in autumn
Together, scarlet
Yet beautiful

The signal
Where we were
Caught
for "drink and drive"

The sweetheart card
Bearing my name

A 'One' Rupee note
Carrying your name

And finally
The sombre heart

I threw them today
In the puddle
Behind

And saw
The green water
Turn transparent
Again

I smiled back
I found me
Again....

Trail...

2008-08-13T20:47:00.001-07:00

A Grey watermark
On the ageless sand
I left a trail behind
And walked ahead
Holding time..

The sand cricket saw
Me go, and laughed
Time is promiscuous
And favors might
It said

Same is history
Kissing the hands
And serenading of
The potents

Tomorrow the sirocco
Will come
And wash away
Your marks

Time will slip away
Silently
Beneath your feet
Taking away you
From you

And something will
Be left forgotten
And defeated
"You"
Nothing remains

No trail, no might
In its golden glory

Ever

Time wounds
Everyone
And
Forgets
............

Rainbow in the Prism

2008-08-13T20:46:00.001-07:00

The quivering light beam
Struggling through the ventilator
Meandering in the voluptuous dark
Slowly laid its shadow

On the incline of life
Steadily it diffused inside
And the effect

Every strand of the beam
Danced in exhilaration
The iridescence made frolic
With the dark creation

Kissing all the grains
Of pain and sorrow
Engaged in the dance
Of luminescence
For there was no tomorrow

Like unconventional lovers
They met after long
Planting a kiss
Of being, of belong

The strands shimmered
Inside the glass pane
The underplay of the colors
In the rainbow grew insane

I watched the
Nimbus rain
In the “Prism”

A Walk...

2008-08-13T20:45:00.000-07:00

Thousand lilies around
Millions of grass blades
I walk barefoot
Till eternity

Inverted Pradigms
Making a real
Image
On my eyes

Some hope for
Tomorrow and
A dream full of
Smiles

Giving back
The luxuries galore
Back to this
Poor world

Taking along
Only a promise
Of love
For whatever
I am

I walk amidst
The Thousand liles
And the Million
Grass blades
.
.
.

Infertility

2008-08-13T20:35:00.001-07:00

Some pink petals
From our wedding corsage
Dried today....

The foliage of the fir tree
We met first, where
Grew dark and heavy
Laid strew on the
Yellow grass
Burnt in the
Last summer
Today....

The ribbons of smiles
Also couldn't bind
The steps...
Going out
To return never
Today....

I pretended to smile
But tears rolled
Still unnerved
You didnt look
Back
Today....

But! The report
Saying, I could
Never bear your child
Did stop you
From loving me
Like before
Today....

Ah! and you wouldnt
know ever....
I faked the report
I never wanted you
To feel sorry
For the fact
You couldnt have
Given me a baby....

I still love you!!!

But u??????

Happiness

2008-08-13T20:34:00.001-07:00

Searching you day and night
I did not have any respite
Implicitly I followed you
To own you forever

After a very long time
Today I saw you, glancing at me
Through those bottle green fern leaves
Which had grown on its own
In the puddle

And you stared at me
With those scarlet round eyes
Rolled them like a cricket ball
In the hands of a spinner
Afraid! I stood

Will you throw them on me?
Or jump in from the puddle
Your home sweet home
Into my lap the next second
Amazed! I stared

Atlast you moved
Ah! Changed the pose
To reveal the beauty beneath
A polished green back

With designer patterns
In sepia and black
You hop-skipped
Out of the old abode

And out came the rain
Pitter-patter
To cover you in a
Mud-coat

Furious, you hopped
Back again beneath the ferns
With rolling scarlet eyes
This time staring at the rain

Fought dauntlessly
With your sword of
Long fern blades
To keep off the rain

And I remained agape
Staring at you
The “dark green Frog”
Of joy

I smiled with you today
“Happiness”

The Sorrow

2008-08-13T20:31:00.001-07:00

A physical ache
Running down the nerves
Digging deep
Into the spine

A sombre dark fluid
Matching its flow
With that of the effluent
Blood! they call

Recycled from the
Corroded waste
Which still carries
The melancholy

A state of dysfunction
Since inception
An exemplar of
Irreversible entropy

Molding the psyche
Bit by bit
Until the day of
Metamorphosis

When the "Sorrow"
Becomes a limb
Not implied for
A differentiation

From the "Inert Uniformity"
Of life for which
The "Sorrow" has become
The Spine

Terra Cotta.....

2008-08-13T20:30:00.001-07:00

The breeze gushed in
Through the half open
Glass window
Deluged in the smell
Of moist clay, wet leaves
And some beautiful
Memories

An underplay of
The blue rain, tittering
All the evening
Soaking every bit
Saturating every
Corner of this
Soul

Wasing away the temporary
Colors, embedded in the
Tiny paiselys and blocks
Of the Terra cotta pot
Lying outside
Still
Mute

Getting submered in
The shower
Of love
Beckoning freedom
From the fake adornments
Of this more fake
World

To remain chaste
In its only decor
Of the uneven
Form, given by
The creator and
The inert color of
Clay

The night tip-toed mutely
Throught the white-satin
Curtains, covered in a
Sheer sheath of
Polka-dotted, twinkling
Myriad star filled
Azure sky

And I began to think
Can i be the unglazed
Terra cotta pot ever
Renouncing the
Cosmetic, glittery
Masque and wash myself
To purity
Ever again......

Under the downpour
Of your "Love"

The Vacuum

2008-08-13T20:28:00.000-07:00

The bright city lights
Standing with their
Vacuity ...
On the road banks

Hustle and bustle
On the not so busy
With work streets...
Where

Souls are sold
In the barter
Of life and money
What a trade?

The floodlights
Trying to dispel
The umbra....
Struggling hard

Can't reach the hearts
More hollow than the
Night's sorority
Like....

Piranhas perched
On the mast
In search of
Raw pulp

I supercede
Into the place
Dying again
One more day

Searching for the one
Lost years ago...
In like this only night
In like this only street

Some vacuum
Engulfed me.....

Coma

2008-08-13T20:27:00.001-07:00

The purple shadow
Did cast its spell
On the unending
Desires of a forlorn heart

The strands twisted
Turned, struggled
For freedom ....

Freedom
.
.
.
Which was yet to come
And force
The desires to bow
In front

Ask....
The premonition of life
The prehensile life
To sway...
Succumb to the truth
.
.
.
Of Coma

Taste Dust

2008-08-13T20:26:00.001-07:00

Zillion words outpouring
But not a single one
To adorn
The unfurling
Thoughts

Cognition
Struck by
The brutal hands
Of reality

The one going on
Infront
Has sucked in all
Expressions

Im left
Impassive
Not to shed
The pain

But
To taste
Dust

Bird and the Bubble

2008-08-13T20:18:00.000-07:00

You wish to fly like a fledgling sparrow sometimes
Not knowing where will the flight take you
Will you be able to survive?
The thuds of the wind
And go on ….Or just to discover like the bird

The broken withered feathers suspended in the air
Above it, as it tries to stay afloat
Knowing pain is near in the air only
And through the impervious air
It will diffuse slowly inside... permeate inside

It may be lucky enough sometimes…
To fall on the slick logs of the uprooted palm tree
Covered with a thick layer
Of glossy moss and green dew
A victim of the same sane wind
But older than the novice, hurt today

And slip down its slender body
To land safely on the ground
To open your eyes and see the world
Again…
Life dosen’t give mortals many chances

A thought bubble filled
With the vacuum of dead desires
Of flying high, soaring high bursts….
And the little moisture carried inside spills
On the ground, smirking wearily

Tired of being afloat for so many years
Finally did come back to rest its feet
Which have only been dangling since inception?
And now actually laughing mockingly
At the bird for being so foolish

Thinking of flying and flying
But will it ever understand
Some things you don’t do with your choice
Neither does any one force you to do

It’s just that you do it and love
The feeling that doing it gives you
Not because you liked, not because anyone liked
Because you loved
And only you loved….

Promiscuous

2008-08-13T20:16:00.000-07:00

Some fireflies
Living a lifetime
In a night

Filling all the pores
Of the air around
Like the shrill cries
Of a failed heart

Burning their own
Wings, the worth
Unknowingly

In the mirth
Of flying high
Touching
The sky

Promiscuous
Evanescent
Can life be???

Anorexia

2008-08-13T20:15:00.001-07:00

Barren landscapes; arid wastelands
No skeletons
Only skeletal structures
Houses in barb and steel
Unfinished, yet erect
A cavernous den

The embedded eyes
Pushed deeper inside
By the capitalistic engine
Of fashion
“Or”
The aesthetic engine
Of design
And the dark hollows
Engulfing
Two lives

“Materiality”
Host to the parasite
Of
“Anorexia” or “Fashion”
Ah! Seemingly inseparable
The petit object
And abject admiration
Of the “Flatness”
It hosts

A wish to erase
The dimension
Inside;
To become more
Like the dimensionless
“Flat”
Apparition in the
“Mirror”

Does it hold anything real?
Or it shows only
What you want to see
Through your own eyes
An image of self
Separated from all
“Elements”
Reduction overtakes

Decay follows
Eternal “flatness”

Non-Confirmity

2008-08-13T20:13:00.000-07:00

The walls grow higher
Than the imagination
As we move farther
I don’t know how much
But, farther away

Some silken dreams
Slip out of my hands

Hands, greased with
The distance we created

Distance…
Not meant to be
Still built

By the egos
And super egos
Of two conflicting
Souls….

Never meant to be One…

The walls grow higher
Than the imagination
As we put in the bricks
Of nonconformity
Were we ever confirm

What we were meant
To be each others
Or just
For a show
It happened

The love
The marriage?

Gulmohar's Prime

2008-08-12T03:24:00.001-07:00

Some orange blossoms
High up in the sky,
Unreachable
Yet myriad!
Like many speckles of
Orange gloss
Sprinkled by someone
On the thick green moss
As if the clouds
Had all turned green
And descended with a orange sheen
Waiting pertinently
Just for me to smile
To dance on the tune so agile
Saying,“Oh! Dear come to me”
Will turn the cornucopia on thee
Yeah! Yesterday I saw
The Gulmohar’s prime
Blushing in the foliage
And proclaiming
Spring is going to embrace
The parched!

Broken Whispers

2008-08-12T03:23:00.001-07:00

Some broken whispers
In your numb ears
A mute gaze
Into the inquisitive eyes

Will be enough to narrate
Every inch of the pain
Filling the very void
Of my life’s lane

The air around laden
With crimson pearls
Will bemuse you
When the story unfurls

But for that dear
I need a moment
From your life
Whom breaths don’t taint

Stolen intuitively
Without fear and disgrace
Because that inch was mine
Which I lost too in the race

Give Me a Day, I'll Paint it "Blue"

2008-08-12T03:17:00.000-07:00

What a day it would be
When I will be yours forever
And every night I would see
A dream to end never

So many dreams I will have
Accumulated over time
As if they will all resonate
Together in chime

The Every day I will have
A ruby sunset
And crimson would be
The morn for ever

When you will watch me
Covetously in a stolen glance
And I will coy timidly
And you will keep eyeing askance

When my pores will be redolent
With your fragrance from head to toe
And every inch will bear a penchant
Of your coquettish awe

When your jacket will smell
Of the lily ribbons in my curls
We would be left with nothing to tell
When you will gaze at my anklet’s pearls

What a day it would be
When I will wait frenziedly
For you to return home
My eyes playing with my heart perfidiously

A kiss for every breath
That you took without me
Implanted on my bare lips
Whenever you turned to see

And the nights will be all
Of the silken velvet blue
When you will touch my skin
With lilies drenched in morning dew

Can you give me a day like that?
In which I will forget myself
And would bask in your love
Like some fair elf..

I Said Once

2008-08-12T03:14:00.000-07:00

Time is a bigger boundation than terrain...
it holds u....
and bequeaths u with moments
Only when it’s gone

Sink deep in the sand
Behold the sun for the last time
Its time to go back and avenge
The procrustean bruises by time

Transgressing the palisades of time
I realized its dimensionless
And thus I am free to promote
The prowess of insanity now
Insanity as dimensionless as time
Insanity not feigning to be benign

When the hand holds the other
when u long to stay
A tumult of emotions
mostly unsaid and undone
but all u hear is
“I have no time”

So busy in our own lives
we even don’t have time
to sit back and look at the reflection
of our own eyes
which gave grown sullen
with many showers which
could not flood the being
And just dried away with time
Inside..

Promise of Love

2008-08-12T03:00:00.001-07:00

It never said it will bestow
With happiness or oblivion
Love never alleged that
It was there to give

It never promised me for yellow lilies
Because they will dry someday
But thorns in wilderness
To stay with me

It never guaranteed to
Make my dreams come true
Neither did Love pledge to
Bring you for me

It never assured that
It will make me meet you
But it said if I happen to
I should go empty handed

It never vowed to fill them
With grandeur when I returned
But proclaimed that I will have
Memories worth gold to cherish all my life

It never asked me to search for you
Never did it say to find you
But to stand blank
So that when u come its only you inside...

Yes, I came across it by chance
While you passed by
And now its there for life
By my choice

Insomnia

2008-08-12T02:58:00.000-07:00

Have not slept since years
And still don’t pain
My sleep laden eyes
Struck by insomnia

Ears so dysfunctional
That not even a whisper registers
Someone cure me of this state
This silence is deafening me

Someone cure me of this state I am living death….

"Or" and "And" Gates

2008-08-12T02:57:00.000-07:00

So many stories
And philosophies
So many years of longing
And clemencies

Define the universal feeling
We all call it love and
Many hearts ruled and ruined
By its mighty hand

Being in the ageless epics
It has been maneuvered
Being coveted by many
But hardly ever delivered

Buying our own desolation
In kind of dreams and rains
We all have done it once
But only to conclude, it pains

Why don’t we rise in love?
Make our life purposeful
And indeed more justified
Much more meaningful
We have all survived
The sufferings and pains
And have ostensibly evolved
To find there are no gains

Ruled by the laws
Not to express the actual you
For the sake of the society
And get colored in its hue

Forsaking our own individuality
To be machines and flip flops
Serving to the OR and AND gates
Of the people, only to drop

We have stopped ourselves
From being good and bad
To become more acceptable
And sociable in the clad

We all love someone
Save our self
We all are someone
Except our self

I don’t want to bow
In front of this sane society
Only to shred myself
Inch by inch in front of the mighty

I want to live my life
With myself in harmony
Before succumbing to
The eternal cacophony

I want my dreams to testify
My desires of the subconscious
I want to be me
Finally in love with me

Emotions

2008-08-12T02:56:00.000-07:00

Emotions
The unfathomable emotions
Which u comprehended?
But never related
You praised
But didn’t want
To reciprocate
They meant to u
But u didn’t
Have time to embrace them
My abyssal emotions

The Perfidy

2008-08-12T02:55:00.002-07:00

A maimed soul disguised in glee
Vacuous but certain
Speaking in bounds through
Those amethyst thespian eyes
Searching for answers
In the void of life

Masquerading to be sane
In the profound darkness
Of the bluest self
Where no one is there to ascertain
The measure of the tainted psyche

Degenerating day by day
In your acute repugnance
Cure me of this execrable state
Or create a vacuity around me
Which engulfs the void inside

Bruise the relentless self in me
Until it bleeds to death
Injure the exogenous persona
Until it squalls the perfidy out
Because now too its killing me.

Answers

2008-08-12T02:55:00.001-07:00

Questions cannot always be answered
Because some answers are alive
They carry souls
And how can you give your soul
So easily to someone
You have known an hour back
I did it once and see
Am still repenting on the fact
The answers took my heart away
And I won’t do this
This time
I won’t answer

Mutated Time

2008-08-12T02:54:00.001-07:00

I don’t know why
The time has mutated
I can see it flying away with my desires
Please hold it for me once…again

It has taken me so long
Oh… why so long
To understand that your love is not only my desire
It is not only my crave

How can I explain that?
It’s the reason for my existence
It’s the reason for my smile
It’s the reason you and me are there

Let not the time
Take away my life because
I can’t give up your love without dying
I can’t give up those moments

The tender moments
When heaven would be close
I know I would be with you someday
In your arms, Right in your arms

I’ll wait for this until the heavens fall
Until I no longer breathe
Until I no longer smell you near me
Until the conviction itself says I am broken

I know the wait is endless
The wait is eternal, but
It has exasperated along with my beliefs and me
Hold the time once…again

Let yourself feel me
Recommence the love
As how can you know what love is?
Until you set it free… Until it flows

Hope Of Happiness

2008-08-12T02:53:00.001-07:00

Happiness cannot be a fact
If u have to act
Happiness is the elation of the soul
Specially if you are in love
Aberrations can make you happy
Happy for a moment
That happiness can be like fire flies
Like the soap bubbles...
You see them and they fill you with hope
A hope to be happy again
A hope to see everything again
A hope to live again

My Poems

2008-08-12T02:52:00.000-07:00

Myriad like stars
They flow in the sky
Of my heart
Molten and mobile
To take the shape
Of your dreams
The moment
They meet you
In this life
And I envy them
On their métier
On the hope
On the strength

Free From All Avarice

2008-08-12T02:49:00.000-07:00

A Terpsichore of macabre
By the ember apparitions
All around to suffuse me
With their sepulchral desires
Started long back to engulf me
In its saturnine cadaverous arms
Ripping apart even the brumous shadow
Of hope for a living psyche
A palisading bedlam of desires
Exacerbating the only miniscule
Promise of love and life
Asking me to bequeath
All my impressions of being
In this masquerade of apathetic
Existences with no implications
Blithely I cede my corpse to it
And take away the demented soul
With me to my grave
Imbed it there inside the dirt
To set it free from all avaricewat

Once Again

2008-08-12T02:47:00.000-07:00

Today as I sit beside the window
To pen down those scattered thoughts
The cold wind gushes my face
Arousing memories of the past

A past that had brought smiles
Smiles of our blossoming love
A past that had brought love
Sweet love in your touch

My day started with your good morning
And ended with your goodnight kiss
Life was a beautiful dream…
And plentiful I wanted to live

Then, why is it today?
That whenever I think of you
my eyes are filled with tears
Tears reminding me about you

It is this pain of separation…
Which is breaking me from within?
It is easier to die alone
But your silence is killing

I have to tell you loads
And so much to listen from you
But it seems time has gone by
The time when your love was mine

Wish those rains come again
The rains, which witnessed our love
You could easily make out the difference
The difference between raindrops and my tears

I never knew it was so easy
So easy to fall in love
I never knew it would be so beautiful
So beautiful to fall in love

Still I have some hope
A hope to be together again
I would be waiting for you
Until the day we are one again…!!!
I would be waiting for you…
Until the day we are one again…!!!

The Velvet Blue

2008-08-12T02:46:00.001-07:00

I wonder if you can realize
I think of you
When the night is drawing near
And in the shadows in of my room
The walls around me disappear

In my quiet thoughts
Only my dreams are there
When in the silent, velvet blue
The moon is tapping at my door
I only think of you and me together

I wonder why the twinkling stars
That droop from the clouds above
Remind me of your whispered words
Wish I could reach out to touch them
In the way your words used to touch me

In the lonely night
That breaks upon the early dawn
I hold my tender memory
Near my heart ….Oh so long
Time has passed away so smoothly

I wonder why I dream of you
In the thick black nights
When the cloudless skies are impassive
I realize across each day and dark
My thoughts just comprise of you

The Velvet Blue

2008-08-12T02:46:00.000-07:00

Purple Ashes

2008-08-12T02:34:00.000-07:00

Where do I go from here?
This isn't where I wanted to be..
Before this day I had you
I had you beside me…

Certainties have disappeared
What do I do to keep my hopes alive?
What do i do for my dream to survive?
How do I keep going with my passion?

Deep in my heart there is a pain
I have been concealing my longing
Am scared to confess what I'm feeling
Frightened you'll slip away

You are surely there
But not for me……
You still believe in love
But don’t love me….

Give me a chance and I'll let you see how
nothing has changed
My love for you is still the same
I still live with your name

There will be one day, you will realize
I am lost in the journey.
Time has turned me to ashes
Those grey ashes which still lie around you

Just tell me for once…
You’ll love me for that particular moment
And blow the ashes around
To give me freedom….to give me life

Subliminal Love

2008-08-12T02:31:00.000-07:00

I never loved you
Because I thought I won’t be happy
Without you, I never did because
I thought I couldn’t live without u

I loved you because my
My happiness got embodied in you
Along with my sorrows, and I lost
The proficiency to differentiate

I never loved you because
I could not love someone else
But I did because I was never myself
When I tried doing so

I loved you because I could
See you in front, whenever
I desired, I could feel you
Wherever my eyes rested...

I never loved you because
I could only wait for you eternally
But because I had the force to
Smile when you said I will never

I loved you because
Whenever at 4 I went out in the balcony
My senses could caress you
In the air around me…

I never loved you because
My skin could register your embrace
I did because I could register myself
As me in your arms….

I loved you because
Every evening when I walked alone
I could feel you beside me
Trying to match my steps…

I never loved you because
I thought u will buy me roses
But I did because whenever I saw
Yellow lilies, I felt u have sent them

I loved you because
Whenever I thought of colors
I could see only blues….
And not the ruby

I never loved you because
I wanted to see the pacific with you
I did because I have carried it in my eyes
Since the time you last said good bye

I loved you because
Whenever I thought of elfin beauty
I went to see my smile in the mirror and
Figure how it would look through your eyes

Yes, I realize I loved you
Not for you, but for my own fancies
I don’t love you without a reason
But innumerable….

Yes, I fall in love with you everyday
And will keep on doing that
Not because I can’t forget you
Rather I don’t want to…

“Ephemeral Love”

Sitting on the seashore
I can see the tranquil deep
Seeming so silent and calm to the eye
But carrying a whirlwind inside

Sitting on the seashore
I can see the waves
Coming towards me to gulp me
But they recede only, kissing my feet

Sitting on the seashore
I tried encaging the surf
To make it mine forever
But it only left evanescent white froth

Why is your world like the sea?
It seems so silent to the world
Why do you keep inside?
The whole stream of emotions

Why are you like the waves?
I try catching you every time
I try making you mine
And you evaporate…you vanish

Why is your love like the froth?
Shaped like a crystal
So transparent…so beautiful … so clear
But so ephemeral

A Moan For Solace

2008-08-12T02:30:00.001-07:00

It takes me my life whenever I moan for solace
The whirlwind of my desires don’t leave me alone
They tell me the stories of today and tomorrow
Some known and others unknown....
The bright red beam of those old reminiscences
Dictate me to live today too.

And one more desire commeses
Which is nothing but an extreme likeliness?
Of those promises, I was unable to keep
Yes the wind which finds its origin in you
Is taking me away, away from myself
And I am becoming an apparition

Then too I desire to live with those memories
With those broken promises, which lie like
Broken glass pieces everywhere around me
On which I have stamped, but can’t feel the pain...
Nothing is oozing out except life since then
And you thought I couldn’t see them

I could, but chose to walk to see if I am alive
To see does it actually hurt
Look it didn’t... the subliminal pain of carnage
Has surpassed all other worldly pains

Yes I carved my fate to separate us
Now, I am this world and you the one above me
I see dewdrops every morning to look up
And exclaim u still love me.... but how do I send them back
To say I too...U still can I can't
But jut lie covered in mist all my life

Which is soaking me and slowly
Congealing me day by day.... Why did u go so high?
Why did we become two worlds, those two worlds?
Which never meet, as they say!
No I can see, I can see them meeting today...
Yes I can see them meeting everyday, near the horizon
“Fundamentals”

I know this fact that
There were fundamental reasons
For us not being together
For the distances that sprung

Things went sour and
I couldn't protect the tenderness
My strength swayed and I couldn't
Hold together all the petals of our love

And this is why today
I have so many reasons to cry
And at the next moment
Laugh at the doom of my tears

Pity them….
Which masquerade in the blue shade
Trying to live for a moment but
So transient, they dry on their own

Look at my plight…
Life didn't even give me a chance
To taste the teardrops of my sorrow only
Which dry before touching my lips

I wonder o how…
How can love be such an enigma?
The more I try getting it….
The more effervescent the tears become

There will come a time
When they will dry in the eyes only
Those stone eyes, which only will bear the sorrow
Of the fundamentals, which you say went wrong.

The Gulmohar Tree

2008-08-12T02:29:00.000-07:00

Sitting alone in the obscurity
Of the days which have passed bare foot
I think of times when I could see things
Couldn’t know and touch but imagine them
That intangibility which used to surpass
The feeling that every dream would come true
I could touch the stillness of the snow fall
Which I never saw
Try to figure out a rainbow in the rain-filled sky
Every time they poured
As if to wash out all the impurity of mankind
And think that I could keep the bubbles
On my palm lifelong
Ephemeral though they resembled happiness
The melancholy monsoon and those green
Water hyacinths which it brought in plenty
I wonder how wilderness could be that beautiful
And those windy evenings when
I could see polythene bags on their wings
Flying all over the sky like air balloons
And wonder if I could meet an elf someday
And go flying in their world full of bliss
I remember those frost mornings when
Walking down to the bus stop
Everyday I thought how tall is this Gulmohar tree
Why can’t it bend and give me all its orange blossoms
Which I will use for my doll’s wedding

The doll which I lost in the race of time
And the tree doesn’t stand now..

The Promised Land

2008-08-12T02:24:00.000-07:00

A paradise of serenity,
The world we will be
When we will be together for eternity
What a beautiful sin,
Where the moon will come
To see us together
And we gazing at the myriad stars,
Will forget things forever
Water gushing towards the reef
How do I tell you?
It kisses my feet the same
Way you do
And the way it recedes
Is just the imagery
Of the feeling I carry inside when you stop
Touching me
A fish on the sand
Craving for life.....
And then when your hands
Take mine for life
Things revive
Yes, the world keeps on moving
But I am stoned
In your arms
Forever....
Still....

Colored In Your Hue

2008-08-12T02:22:00.001-07:00

Years ago, in impeccant times
My phone rang
I picked it up to discover
You had called up
We were strangers then
With more stranger feelings inside
U liked me from the profoundness
Of your heart, which was discrete
From your mind then
And yet I was all
Unaware of the fact
So unacquainted the feeling was

You asked me to meet up
Before you go away
For times obscure
“Yes I will”
Was what I said
But couldn’t comprehend
The paroles unsaid
And tomorrow became
The anticipated day
Till that time I didn’t know
It was to ascertain
My life forever

Dressed in pink
And glowing in pink
I met you on the breakfast
But time stood still
When I gazed into your eyes
Those abstruse mirrors
Of your genuine feelings
Yes, I could read them
But pretended to be oblivious
Time passed and I stayed
You couldn’t give words to
The spirits reining your heart

We had lunch
I remember, for that age
I was trying to be so sophisticated
Speaking less, smiling more
Putting you in deeper troubles
You said I veritably looked beautiful
And you hadn’t seen someone
Ever in your life
With such clear and mesmerizing eyes
Those Sepia eyes you could live in forever
With smile more sumptuous
And lips more lithe

The day descended
And I stood up to go
Yes you had utter those words
Words, I couldn’t ascertain the depths of
You had touched me once
Touch, I couldn’t register the grandeur of
I could see in your perplexed eyes
The pain of separation
Pain, so impalpable
I tried to evade them
But so captivating they were
Yes, I tried to escape you that day

I have seen many moons now
And today looking into the mirror I realize
I had left my eyes that day
Those histrionic eyes
I had left my heart that day
That heart which struggled hard to escape
I had left my mind that day
That mind which gave me reasons to live
Yes, you tried giving them back
But they had gone numb without you
And couldn’t ever register me

Yes I couldn’t bask again
In the glory of something so naïve
Yes I couldn’t see again in such splendor
The abyss of a man’s eyes
Yes I couldn’t register again
A touch so tender yet fragile
Yes I couldn’t hear those words again
Saying you are safe in my arms
And I couldn’t again get a day
A day to live
A day to breathe
A day to smile
A day to glow........

A Ruby Evening

2008-08-12T02:21:00.000-07:00

Today when I heard the oscine sing
As the monsoon set forth
With the crumpled clouds carrying
A bounty of blue panacea

To pour the sea
And not to take away
Even a drop of it
A murmur everywhere

There he stood behind
Those water panes
And I in the frenzied
Hazel rain

Trying to catch even a drop
In my hand
But they slip away
Like my teardrops

Collecting the corals of our cherished bits
From the reef of time
I felt as if I was in a reverie
Trying to hold the moist sand

Belonging to the sea
And slipping inside it
As if one day the sea will take me back
With its sand

Walking down the memory lanes
I remember a wet ruby evening
We were together
And u were coming to drop me

You never knew, I wanted to stay
Stay forever with you
That day never returned
To give u back

Do you remember?
How you didn’t give me a chance
To stay back with you for life
That evening

I still wait for that fervent evening
When the glare in your eyes
Made me turn scarlet
The color I couldn’t discern after that

The traces of moisture in the sky
Don’t alleviate the resident pain
After that delirious pouring
I couldn’t feel rain again

Corals Of Time

2008-08-12T02:16:00.000-07:00

They say, if you don’t stop me
I will keep on collecting
Corals all my life
Because they remind me of you
So similar are they like me
The sea keeps them in the heart and then
Leaves on the shore with the waves
And you kept me
And have left to myself now.......

Untitled

2008-08-12T02:15:00.001-07:00

The Eternal wait

2008-08-12T02:12:00.001-07:00

How persistent is the wait
The wait for the day
When we will meet
In the silence of the moors

Under the obscurity of
The sky filled with dusky tiaras
When we would search for words
To speak about the feelings

And would be able to find none
Which our eyes would have conveyed
So elaborately by lowering down
The lids as if to fill u in them
For all the coming lives

When the eyes would itself
Become the words
And the silence will speak
The bounds, lips would never have

And when the clouds
Will pour a million
No a zillion white pearls
Instead of the raindrops

And you will make for me
An anklet of joy out of them
And a ring of promise
A promise for life out of them

When you will take me in your arms
And I will see the seasons passing
Upside down: Spring, summer, autumn and winter
Living a life in all

It’s the wait, the wait for life
The wait when we meet for an hour
And in that hour I
I find my being, me and you
“Couldn’t Say Good Bye”

I know you have gone
But I won’t complain
Eternal I thought this light was
Only to realize it was caught in the orbit
Faults undefined...
Puppets we were in the hands of time

You came and taught me
What unconditional love is?
And one fine day left to see if it really was
Love they say seeks no reward
As love is its own reward

Lost I have nothing
However some drops of tears
Gained I have wisdom and strength
To walk miles alone
Gained I have light
To light up dark corners

I know you came on time
And more important left on time
Passing clouds everyone is
And I am glad you passed on me
You left me strong
To face the thunder after the cloud

How can I hate you?
When once I loved you with all my heart
And still do that
Blessing you were and will always be
So what if our paths never cross again!!!
So what if we could not even say good-bye!!!!

A Faint Description

2008-08-12T02:08:00.000-07:00

I was trying to seek answers
To the question you asked last night
“Sweetheart can you describe my love”
Was what you had desired to know

Cogitating upon the sense of sensibility you carry
And the innate passion
I thought I would not be able
To describe your love

Inclining on the barricade of my rooftop
Replacing the curls behind my ear
I looked around for the implications
Nature can suffice for all the answers of the soul
It was a breezy night yesterday
And I saw the wind, the frenzied wind
Blowing on its own
Incognizant of the destination

So unwavering was its determination
To take the world with itself
How confident and jubilant it was
On the insanity which broke it free from the strands

And then it met a tree
And whirled around her to feel
Its wonder for the maple tree
It had met in its way of life

Dancing with the forlorn tree
Vacillating in its dew filled arms
It spent some time
In the beauty of desires

Just to discover
In the bewilderment
The tree had fallen in love with it
For forever

How beautiful was the feeling
The tree wanted it to stay
Still and stoned in its maple leaves
And sing a lullaby every night

But it hadn’t realized
The tacit love the wind had
For the undecided
For the infinite

To travel all over
And search for the truth
And not to stagnate in the
Arms of the wood

The tree could not entrap
The insane wind
And it could not fathom
The impervious wind

How it could?
The pores were all saturated
With the love for its being
How eminent the narcissism was

The wind struggled
And left the obscurity
Because the wind loved itself
And its frenzied ideas

For the idea of truth
For the idea of beliefs
For the idea of hopes
For the idea of stars

So myriad the ideas were
Like the maples leaves
Which the tree had shed
In the memoirs of its lost love

Sometimes nudity can be so beautiful
Now it won’t have to wait for the autumn to come
And make it forcefully bare
As for today and for forever it will be in love

And then the wind bid good bye
Said it never promised to stay
The tree stood happy
Shedding the dew drops of joy

The joy she got
When she met the wind
When she jived with it
And finally when she gave herself

The wind flew high
And high and high
Laughing and shrieking
In the company of its ideas

How beautiful was its love
The animated and exalted love
Love never seen and heard before
Love to quench the thirst of being

And with this finished
The last cigarette in my hand
And my desire to smoke more
I could see the tree and I could see the wind

This is the maple tree
For which autumn will never come
And you are the phrenetic wind
With ideas so covetous

Now I could sleep
After so many years
After such a long insomnia
The wind was free, and so are you

I have my answers now
You love your ideas, as i do u
But yours is a bigger one
Because there are two you.

Prevarication

2008-08-12T02:06:00.000-07:00

The curtains are drawn, and
The world of pretensions
Hidden behind the thin
Film of separation
Seems so laudatory

An act begins
Dangling eyes and
Swinging hands

Can we express?
The moment
Of eternal happiness
Or grim gloom

Or it’s just
So involuntary
Life doesn’t give
You a chance to react
At its actions

And at the stance
You stand
Invariably
As if the moment
Was since eternity

Whether it is
Grim or glad
It is true
Your own

Happiness or
Gloom
Inseparable
Like pebbles
From sand
Isn’t every life an act?
And we all
Pretend…

To live…

A Dream To Dream

2008-08-12T02:05:00.001-07:00

In the umbra of those dark clouds
I slept so long for years,
But couldn’t find

A dream to dream
A sin to sin

To fill my eyes with promises,
My heart with mirth

And one day I discovered,
Dreams cannot be dreamt
They live inside;

Like a yellow painted butterfly
Lives inside a caterpillar,
Green like moss

Dreams and sins
Are so strong and vacuous

Gravity overrules itself
When they play
But why is this clichéd

That dreams take you higher
And sins submerge you in despair

Some dream of sinning
Some sin for their dreams
So were does the difference lie?

I am here to dream
I am here to sin…

Sand Walls..

2008-08-12T02:03:00.000-07:00

There are walls
All around me...
And I yell out that nobody dares to break in
To save myself from the grief
Of parting once again in life
But there is something deep inside
Which says....
Can there be anyone to break those invisible walls
And look nobody even tries
Thinking the walls are made of bricks
How would I tell people.. Try
Try once and it will sink...
It’s made of the sand
Onto the ephemeral ocean
Of Time

The Silver Link...

2008-08-12T02:00:00.000-07:00

I opened my rosewood chest
Again today, to see my life
Still intact within the
Withered folds of blue velvet

And the sweet nothings suspended
In the thick air, suffused
With moist memories
Started echoing again in my heart

The ‘ Payal’
Made in silver and white pearl
With strands of thousand chimes
And links of several arcs to curl

With time, the metal has oxidized
Like the relationship
Between you and me, though
The rate was much slow

And the failed links don’t
Make such a shrill sound now
As they used to
Many years ago

Lifeless and still it lies
At a dark and moist place
Where nobody can hear
The call it makes

Closed, bound and mum
It has grown older and numb
Forgetting it used to hang
Around the most beautiful ankles

Ankles, which have grown older
And weak now, like the links
No more slender and beautiful
Busy and worn in the life’s slink

However the stillness it carries
Is now too that beautiful
As it used to be, when
You made me wear them

I still remember
The mute tip-toeing
When I entered my house
Wearing them

Afraid, mama would hear
And ask me your name
Which I was never meant
To disclose and defame

Time has passed but couldn’t
Take away the beauty
Woven by the chrome moments
And the live strands of desires

I know the one which you took
With yourself, while going
Must have been lost, like me long ago
But the one you did let me keep

Is still there
Within me, in the chest
The dark and moist chest
A part of me but lifeless

And for the world that ‘One’ is now a heap
Of failed links, mute chimes and discolored pearls
But surprisingly, it still
Talks to me and tells me

‘Your ankles are beautiful”

The Remains...

2008-08-12T01:49:00.000-07:00

I have been carrying the incandescent lamp
In the labyrinthine of life for ages
And now I deny succumbing to the verity
Of this my own life
That I can’t make my own choice
And have to bow to the ways of the world

The world, which was never with me
When my legs shivered while accepting my
Own mistakes… which they wouldn’t have
Ever found out, if not spoken by me out of the selfishness
To relieve myself from carrying the silent burden
Killing me day by day and moment by moment

The world, which will only shed the brassy tears
Tears to say I meant nothing, to yell I was nothing
And happily join the cheap masquerade
While carrying me to my grave
Thinking what did I bequeath?
Not knowing I had nothing to give

Since the beginning I was a prodigal fool
Spending my wealth of love
On people like them
And in the end was left with nothing
To bestow upon the ones
Involved in my last walk of the world

Except some childhood memories…
The doll with amassed hair, because
I used to comb her hair daily and washed them
Surreptitiously whenever mama washed mine
The airplane with broken wings, because
I didn’t like it fly alone, without me

Some baked clay and pieces of chalk
In the corner of my quondam almirah,
I used to eat sneakily, afraid of my dad
And he used to catch up every time I did so
Twisting my ear lobes to the extremes
Threatening my blood will turn to water

A notebook with my cursive writing
Still holding the pages filled with the lines
“I will do my homework from tomorrow”
And yet after every alternate date
Finding the same phrase repeated again
And to surprise it marks the end

Some dry flowers of all varieties
And leaves of those wild plants
Collected during the school picnic
And preserved for the years to come
With wet memories intact between
The pages of my “Science” book

Yes, Only the doll, the plane, the words and skeletons of life
To give…

Alter Ego...

2008-08-12T01:48:00.000-07:00

The mere second me
In front…
Lying oblivious
Of the creases
Smitten by the hands
Of time

Of the agony
Afflicted by the
By you,
Loved more than
Anything
By me….

Of the pain
Accepted with smiles
And tears of relief
When the thorns of
Your feet actually
Pricked me

Of the gestures
Sojourning your face
When I brought you
Wild flowers
Stolen from my
Neighbor’s fence

The second me
In front…
Trying to answer
The questions
I didn’t even bother
To ask you

And now
When the time rests
Its elbows on the
Still and transparent frame
Of life

I gaze out
To search for
The answers
Through the broken reflections
In the rippled water
Below…

And The second me
In front…
Ceases to recognize me
As the one
With sullen eyes
And the creases…

All the questions remain unanswered…

I Breathe Again

2008-08-12T01:40:00.002-07:00

Into the trench of silence
Evaporated my succumbed emotion,
In the form of my dreams
With your ideas

The day I met you
And you infringed into the palisades
Of my life constructed brick by brick
Through many moons
Of those fake smiles
I bore unintended

And look now…
What you did!
Left me vulnerable
And penetrable again…

To feel
The precipitancy of
The cold pricking morn waves,
The buoyancy of
The bottle green water hyacinths
Life just waived back to me…

I found the mute button
Of all the clamor again,
From the squalling
Vacuity of soliloquy

A new sapling came to life
Infused by your ideas
Your persistent acclivity
Lifted me with your
Unintended pretension
Of Love

Yeah! I breathe again

Free from Bromide

2008-08-12T01:40:00.001-07:00

Sitting by the corner of the street
I can hear the silence
In the fervent screeches
Emanating from the vacuity of banal souls

Men festinating at the busy signals
Circling in the meaningless
Women worrying about their mundane chores
With a baggage of their being, being torn apart

The men going to their offices in the morning
And returning drunk late at the night
The men caressing with praises one night
And traducing and crushing the alternate

The women in the temples
The women in the brothels
The women worshipped
The women abused

The little vacuous faces of children
From the toddlers to the kite-runners
Either clamped to their mother’s bosom
Or carrying the burden on their sagging shoulders

The drooping faces, the textured skin
Fondled by the hands of time
With a hope of love
Reciprocated from the loved ones

Yet smiling and lively
And again in love with the progenies
Manifesting the altruistic love
For their soiled buds

No breakthroughs from
The absurdity of life
Reduced to a vagabond
Lost in the labyrinthine

The trickle of the sweat
Coming from the money
Earned after losing the souls
Losing the innocuous insanity

The same tick-tocks
The same tap of the shoes
The same nihility of the body
The vacuous souls fleeting away

The bodies waiting for
The eventual strike of the dagger
The oblivious in the desire of euthanasia
The lips lacking audacity

This is just a denial
From being carried away
From being reined by the hands of time
From vanishing in the tempest of life

This is a pause
To be free from the bromide
To reckon myself
To retrieve myself

To feel the wind in my hair
To feel the rain on my bark
To feel a breath in my lungs
To feel I am still alive

The River of Time..

2008-08-12T01:35:00.000-07:00

And the eyes stood watching the rain
The eyes that had precipitated its own emotions
Sitting by the river of time in all the seasons
Those moist amethyst eyes

The nimbus floated in the horizon
Enveloped in a canescent blanket
Casting a shadow of hope on the eyes
Those almond shaped eyes

The tea lied cold on one side
Completely forgotten by the eyes
Waiting for the flicker of amber
Retching its last spark on the grey sky

Looking all around to find
Even a single dew drop
To put it back in the desiccated eyes
And let it rain again

But it was late
Very late and now time was a moment
A smudge on the lives unlived
A wait in the eyes bereaved

The book lied unread
In some corner of the unlived life
With bookmarks to remind the visitors
Of the milestones seen by the eyes

The thump in the mind surpassed the brattle
On the bare streets, lying under the eyes
The dog barking on the other side
Reminded it of yet another life

The titter of the interminable sky
And the cold shrills of the thunderstorm
The quivering light on the face
And yet the non effervescent eyes

Stood inactive, unruffled by the life beyond
Watching the ashes suspend in the air
Smoke from her cigarette vanish
And the stick incinerate to nothing

And the shadow on the window
Looked up again for a silver lining
In the grey smoke lying around her
To see its clear image in the river