"Beauty"

Once someone asked me, “What’s the most beautiful thing that you have done in your life?”, and I really could not think of an answer to that simple question. Today when I trace back to the same question, which not only asks about the idea of beauty for an individual but also the meaning of a very abstract noun called “beauty”, I realize how naive are we when we actually try getting into the realms of beauty, whether it be mental, physical or beyond both and try to quantify the limitless.

Isn't beauty as boundless as the thoughts coming to a free mind with no strands of inhibitions we generally carry about people? I remember reading Arundhati Roy, “The God of Small Things” where “Ammu” makes forbidden love with “Velutha”. An upper caste divorcee, “Ammu” and the untouchable, “Velutha”, meet in the obscurity of the dark in the verity of their love, to denounce the inhibitions of an esteemed society which just devours on the idiosyncrasy of two people with no other crime committed than being in “Love”.

For me, they are just two people in love, not bound by anything else than the same.
This is beauty for me!

And the most beautiful thing I have ever done in my life, is being in arms of the person, I had a lot of inhibitions about, which I finally let go off, to come to a state of mystic beauty, where I felt being like the wind touching and caressing the lone beechnut tree aimlessly and shamelessly!

For the Lost "Love"

Most times in our life, we do not understand what love is? And what it entails. The biggest problem happens in the part where we are easily alluded into thinking that we love ourselves, we preach the concept of being the best and thinking so; while lacking awareness as to what do we love about us, why do we love, how do we love and we leave those questions aside and thus our reasons for the same. Then we start being with people, and issues and conditions start applying, this should be thus and that should be thus. The problem happens since we do not love ourselves, we also do not find any reason to love someone else or things around us. The mind wants to change everything, and while what change is required is unknown except for as long as it is the way we want. Someday we start loving ourselves, fully and completely and a lot of things start looking beautiful. Things we could not imagine before start happening and while we do not understand what is happening, the right or wrong but we know one thing, this is me who is doing it and I am loving it.

I started loving the person inside me a long ago, the me who was beautiful, amazing, special, sometimes beyond the comprehension of most, and capable of loving someone in a manner where nothing stayed important except the idea of love.

However, today I stand broken at the threshold of that love for which I gave myself, I loved myself.

For “destiny” is cruel!