Tuesday, August 12, 2008

The Remains...

I have been carrying the incandescent lamp
In the labyrinthine of life for ages
And now I deny succumbing to the verity
Of this my own life
That I can’t make my own choice
And have to bow to the ways of the world

The world, which was never with me
When my legs shivered while accepting my
Own mistakes… which they wouldn’t have
Ever found out, if not spoken by me out of the selfishness
To relieve myself from carrying the silent burden
Killing me day by day and moment by moment

The world, which will only shed the brassy tears
Tears to say I meant nothing, to yell I was nothing
And happily join the cheap masquerade
While carrying me to my grave
Thinking what did I bequeath?
Not knowing I had nothing to give

Since the beginning I was a prodigal fool
Spending my wealth of love
On people like them
And in the end was left with nothing
To bestow upon the ones
Involved in my last walk of the world

Except some childhood memories…
The doll with amassed hair, because
I used to comb her hair daily and washed them
Surreptitiously whenever mama washed mine
The airplane with broken wings, because
I didn’t like it fly alone, without me

Some baked clay and pieces of chalk
In the corner of my quondam almirah,
I used to eat sneakily, afraid of my dad
And he used to catch up every time I did so
Twisting my ear lobes to the extremes
Threatening my blood will turn to water

A notebook with my cursive writing
Still holding the pages filled with the lines
“I will do my homework from tomorrow”
And yet after every alternate date
Finding the same phrase repeated again
And to surprise it marks the end

Some dry flowers of all varieties
And leaves of those wild plants
Collected during the school picnic
And preserved for the years to come
With wet memories intact between
The pages of my “Science” book

Yes, Only the doll, the plane, the words and skeletons of life
To give…

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